I am surprised at how many compliments I get for my writing... I failed 11th grade English not once, but twice, and I had to go to night school to graduate... I guess I'm a late bloomer.. I wish my English teacher was till here, unfortunately he lost his battle with cancer right around the time I found out about mine. I wish I would have reached out to him. When I was 17, I couldn't stand him. He was trying to push me, to help me achieve. I was still in idiot mode, so all I did was push back. I still regret that 22 years later...
I wen t to the oncologist today. It was a nice visit. There were no tests before hand, so I knew it was mostly a formality... He poked around my stomach, and talked about how cancer can take multiple forms, but the thought we were on the right track. He asked me how I felt now compared to BEFORE I started chemo. I told him that my stomach is much better now, and I said "I guess that the chemo shrinking the tumor?" He said "Oh, certainly!" I noticed a change in his disposition after that. He was genuinely happy, and so was I. Nothing like a happy doctor!
He told me that my CT scan will be after my 8th chemo treatment. That means I'll be half way after next Thursday. He also said that he was looking forward to how good the results were. I said I like the way you think! I'm looking for the same thing. He got serious for a moment and said "I mean it, I expect good thing when we do the scan!" That was all I needed to hear. I'm happy that he is happy....
This last round of chemo was a breeze! The nurse suggested that I start taking Prilosec and a B-complex vitamin. All I know is that I feel much, much better this time around, and I have very expensive urine... But, whatever works!!! I told Calvin that the doctor was really happy with whats going on, and he was really happy to hear that,
It's hard on the kids to go through this. Angela and I just soldier though like we're supposed to, but the kids still freak out every now and then.. I can't blame them, I never dealt with anything like this. I watched my grandpa die when I was 10 or 11... I can't remember exactly, but your grandpa and dad are two different things. I was very sad, but I didn't even cry when he died... I know it will be very different when MY dad passes on. That's the natural progression. A son is supposed to bury his father not the father bury the son...
Anyways, enough doom and gloom. Doc says all is going well, I say all is going well. Heck, I haven't even missed much work! I pulled a service call straight from chemo last Thursday. Freaked that customer out... God is good. That's all there is to it. If you're a believer, you know what I'm talking about, if not; well... There's still time...
There's no way you can have so much peace about such a serious situation without faith! I don't usually go for the beat you over the head method, but I mean it...I've lost exactly one night of sleep over this ordeal. Just one, and that was the night I was told I have two years! After that, I got my composure, and said to Angela "I can't wait to see how God gets me out of this one!" I mean it, too. I wait on God for an answer. I also trust my docs and nurses, and all the staff to do their jobs, but I have total piece about the ordeal I'm in...
God is good.
P.S.
I found a blog for a woman that had a very similar situation to mine. Take a look if you're so inclined...
http://karenscancer.blogspot.com/
Cheers!
Thursday, March 27, 2014
Thursday, March 20, 2014
3 is the magic number
Anybody remember that School House Rock song? I used to actually stop and listen to those, I can't say how much I learned from them but I know that the function of a conjunction is "hooking up words, phrases, and clauses!" They even made an album in the '90's of School House Rock cover tunes with the popular bands of the day. (I wasn't too excited about that)
Anyway, today is treatment Number three. I'm sorry for not updating more frequently, but truth be told, I can be pretty lazy. There hasn't been a whole bunch of new developments either, so at least I have an excuses! For the most part, it hasn't been to terrible to deal with. I get hooked up on a Thursday, go back on Saturday to get it removed, and then basically laze around and sleep for the next two days. By Monday I'm feeling good enough to go to work (haven't missed a Friday either).
The cold sensitivity is the biggest problem, it really makes things difficult. I can't get the milk out of the refrigerator without a pair of gloves, I can't go outside without a hat, I can't wash my hand without waiting for the water to warm up. That can take a while depending on where you are. And by the way, do you know how you find out if it's warm enough? You keep sticking your finger in the cold water (that hurts!) until it's ok... To describe the sensation; you know how your pinky and ring finger feel when you hit your elbow? That's how whatever part of your body touches cold feels. It effects your feet on a cold floor (wear socks), the big one is food and drink. Nothing cold at all! No milk, certainly no ice cream, no ice water or iced tea, soda, you get the idea.
I am honestly not complaining. I have found my way around most of the problems, so far. A new side effect just showed up last weekend, though. They told me it would happen, but I had forgotten at first. The wrinkles on the back of my hands are getting darker. The creases on my palms will start doing this as well I am told. It no big deal, but if you see my hands, trust me that I have washed them! It looks like I have been working on the car engine, or something.
Anyway today, being the third treatment puts me at the quarter way point. It also means I'm in single digits on remaining sessions. I am happy to say both of those things!
On a personal note (like what part of this is not personal, right) Calvin has started to play 3 on 3 cross ice hockey. He has worked really hard to get to this point, and I am so proud of him. We got him a new (to him) pair of skates last weekend from Play It Again Sports. Only $20.00, so not bad, and they look really nice this time. The old one looked like garbage. Also the girlfriend is playing as well. Yes, my boy has a girlfriend already, and it is so cute to watch them awkwardly interact with each other... I was particularly proud of him last Sunday when we took her home from church, he waited outside the car in the cold for her to get her stuff for a while so he could open the door for her. (Lady's first, he told me later) I'm glad he's listening.
Andrea was on the front page of the Holland Sentinel last Wednesday. Just a small picture for being at the library during a special event, but it sure made her day!
Abi is as smart as ever, she is able to dig herself into and out of trouble with amazing ease with her quick wit. I have no idea where that comes from...
Well it's time for another adventure. I will try to be more diligent in update going forward. Thanks for all the prayers and support! You have no idea how much it means to me.
Anyway, today is treatment Number three. I'm sorry for not updating more frequently, but truth be told, I can be pretty lazy. There hasn't been a whole bunch of new developments either, so at least I have an excuses! For the most part, it hasn't been to terrible to deal with. I get hooked up on a Thursday, go back on Saturday to get it removed, and then basically laze around and sleep for the next two days. By Monday I'm feeling good enough to go to work (haven't missed a Friday either).
The cold sensitivity is the biggest problem, it really makes things difficult. I can't get the milk out of the refrigerator without a pair of gloves, I can't go outside without a hat, I can't wash my hand without waiting for the water to warm up. That can take a while depending on where you are. And by the way, do you know how you find out if it's warm enough? You keep sticking your finger in the cold water (that hurts!) until it's ok... To describe the sensation; you know how your pinky and ring finger feel when you hit your elbow? That's how whatever part of your body touches cold feels. It effects your feet on a cold floor (wear socks), the big one is food and drink. Nothing cold at all! No milk, certainly no ice cream, no ice water or iced tea, soda, you get the idea.
I am honestly not complaining. I have found my way around most of the problems, so far. A new side effect just showed up last weekend, though. They told me it would happen, but I had forgotten at first. The wrinkles on the back of my hands are getting darker. The creases on my palms will start doing this as well I am told. It no big deal, but if you see my hands, trust me that I have washed them! It looks like I have been working on the car engine, or something.
Anyway today, being the third treatment puts me at the quarter way point. It also means I'm in single digits on remaining sessions. I am happy to say both of those things!
On a personal note (like what part of this is not personal, right) Calvin has started to play 3 on 3 cross ice hockey. He has worked really hard to get to this point, and I am so proud of him. We got him a new (to him) pair of skates last weekend from Play It Again Sports. Only $20.00, so not bad, and they look really nice this time. The old one looked like garbage. Also the girlfriend is playing as well. Yes, my boy has a girlfriend already, and it is so cute to watch them awkwardly interact with each other... I was particularly proud of him last Sunday when we took her home from church, he waited outside the car in the cold for her to get her stuff for a while so he could open the door for her. (Lady's first, he told me later) I'm glad he's listening.
Andrea was on the front page of the Holland Sentinel last Wednesday. Just a small picture for being at the library during a special event, but it sure made her day!
Abi is as smart as ever, she is able to dig herself into and out of trouble with amazing ease with her quick wit. I have no idea where that comes from...
Well it's time for another adventure. I will try to be more diligent in update going forward. Thanks for all the prayers and support! You have no idea how much it means to me.
Saturday, February 22, 2014
A quick update
I had my pump removed this morning. I am very thankful for that! I had posted on Facebook that the side effects are not too bad, that was mostly true up to that point. However, I woke up at about 0300 in a lot of discomfort. Now sure what the deal was, but it was more or less a stomach ache... I ate some crackers and drank a bunch of water, and was able to get back to sleep around 0400. I felt pretty lousy all the way up to Grand Rapids and back. In fact I didn't feel better until a nice long nap this mid-morning/afternoon. Now I'm fine!
So overall the side effects that I have felt so far are the following:
- sensitive to cold. Hurts to touch cold things. Can't drink cold things. Even breathing cold air is uncomfortable (hurry up, spring!)
- the first bite of food hurt my molars all the way to my jawbone. It reminded me if having a new filling and touching a metal fork to it. The nurse said they hadn't heard that one before.
- I had a general feeling if light-headedness that I originally attributed to the chemo, I have since discovered that I took Tylenol PM instead of regular Tylenol! Oops... That might make a bit of difference...
Anyway, I still maintain that this isn't too bad as long as this the way it will be. I have found some other people with blogs similar to mine (not near as entertaining, though) as far as discovering their cancer at a later stage, and still conquering it. It helps to see that others have been down the same road, and knowing you are not blazing a completely new trail.
So overall the side effects that I have felt so far are the following:
- sensitive to cold. Hurts to touch cold things. Can't drink cold things. Even breathing cold air is uncomfortable (hurry up, spring!)
- the first bite of food hurt my molars all the way to my jawbone. It reminded me if having a new filling and touching a metal fork to it. The nurse said they hadn't heard that one before.
- I had a general feeling if light-headedness that I originally attributed to the chemo, I have since discovered that I took Tylenol PM instead of regular Tylenol! Oops... That might make a bit of difference...
Anyway, I still maintain that this isn't too bad as long as this the way it will be. I have found some other people with blogs similar to mine (not near as entertaining, though) as far as discovering their cancer at a later stage, and still conquering it. It helps to see that others have been down the same road, and knowing you are not blazing a completely new trail.
Thursday, February 20, 2014
First Chemo Treatment/Capt. Chemo
As I put as my Facebook status this afternoon. "Call me... Captain Chemo; cancer killer."
My first treatment is ok so far. It was very short notice getting in here today. Things moved along a little slowly because they kind of shoe-horned me into the schedule today. (My nurse today will not be my nurse for the rest of my treatments.) My biggest adverse reaction so far has been the Benadryl that they gave me as a precaution. Sometimes people have reaction to the first medicine they gave me (I can't remember the name.)
I hate Benadryl. It makes me very tired and light headed. Which is why people give it to their kids on long trips. We tried that once, but it had the opposite effect of what we wanted! They stayed awake all night in the car crying! Never gain...
Everyone has been very nice, and supportive. I even got to watch the last two periods of the USA/Canada gold medal women's hockey game. Too bad Canada won... This is one sport where the women's game is just as good as the men's (I know that sounds chauvinistic, but have you ever watched the WNBA? It's nothing like the mens game) The women play just as hard and fast as the men, just without the body checking. That being said, the refs didn't do the Americans any favors at the end of the game... The nurses kept coming by my station to ask how the game was going, and for details. I thought that was pretty cool, because no one even knew the game was on before I got here. I guess my enthusiasm was contagious.
This is the first session of 12. That takes me to the middle of July before it's over. I'm not exactly sure what comes after that. I'm sure there will be tests, and whatever to determine the next steps... I'm just happy to get going...
Captain Chemo signing off....
My first treatment is ok so far. It was very short notice getting in here today. Things moved along a little slowly because they kind of shoe-horned me into the schedule today. (My nurse today will not be my nurse for the rest of my treatments.) My biggest adverse reaction so far has been the Benadryl that they gave me as a precaution. Sometimes people have reaction to the first medicine they gave me (I can't remember the name.)
I hate Benadryl. It makes me very tired and light headed. Which is why people give it to their kids on long trips. We tried that once, but it had the opposite effect of what we wanted! They stayed awake all night in the car crying! Never gain...
Everyone has been very nice, and supportive. I even got to watch the last two periods of the USA/Canada gold medal women's hockey game. Too bad Canada won... This is one sport where the women's game is just as good as the men's (I know that sounds chauvinistic, but have you ever watched the WNBA? It's nothing like the mens game) The women play just as hard and fast as the men, just without the body checking. That being said, the refs didn't do the Americans any favors at the end of the game... The nurses kept coming by my station to ask how the game was going, and for details. I thought that was pretty cool, because no one even knew the game was on before I got here. I guess my enthusiasm was contagious.
This is the first session of 12. That takes me to the middle of July before it's over. I'm not exactly sure what comes after that. I'm sure there will be tests, and whatever to determine the next steps... I'm just happy to get going...
Captain Chemo signing off....
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
What a day may hold...
You never know where your day may take you. I had spent the previous three workdays (Thursday, Friday, and Monday) calling the Cancer Center asking for results or this particular test they were running because o my elevated CA19-9 level. Today, I just wanted to go to work
I was sick of asking, so I didn't make my traditional 9am call. I didn't make my 11:30am call (gotta catch 'em before lunch), I just went about my business doing service calls in Grand Rapids, and then Lansing. It wasn't until I finished my call in Lansing that I figured enough already, and called in. I called the main line, and was told a nurse would call me back. I called the number for the financial assistant that was assigned to me, but she didn't answer. I called several times within an hour. I got no where.
I finally got the call just before 5pm that is was colon cancer and NOT pancreatic cancer. I know I've said it before, but i feels weird to be thankful for colon cancer, but compared to the alternative, this is the best I could hope for!
I've remained pretty calm though out this whole affair. I've only lost sleep one night in the past month (that's how long I've known about this). I've said it before; I'm not afraid to die, but I fear for my family. I do not want my children to resent God because I "abandoned" them. So i have a lot to live for, and will continue to fight
tooth and nail as long as I can. For whatever reason I feel pretty confident that this is going to work out. I wish everyone else felt the same way.
Angela took Calvin to the doctor with an earache this morning, it's the same office that my primary doc resides in. Angela mentioned what was going on with me to her, so she looked up my charts (Spectrum is huge, ain't it?) I wish she would have had something encouraging to say. Instead she was asking Angela if my will was in order! Thank you so much! I choose to believe the oncologist, you know the guy who does this for a living, when he says I have a decent chance of beating this. Not the family physician who was just absorbing this for the first time, I'm not so naive to think that stage IV cancer is not a monumental obstacle to overcome, but I'm not accustomed to losing... I do not plan on losing here either!
I was sick of asking, so I didn't make my traditional 9am call. I didn't make my 11:30am call (gotta catch 'em before lunch), I just went about my business doing service calls in Grand Rapids, and then Lansing. It wasn't until I finished my call in Lansing that I figured enough already, and called in. I called the main line, and was told a nurse would call me back. I called the number for the financial assistant that was assigned to me, but she didn't answer. I called several times within an hour. I got no where.
I finally got the call just before 5pm that is was colon cancer and NOT pancreatic cancer. I know I've said it before, but i feels weird to be thankful for colon cancer, but compared to the alternative, this is the best I could hope for!
I've remained pretty calm though out this whole affair. I've only lost sleep one night in the past month (that's how long I've known about this). I've said it before; I'm not afraid to die, but I fear for my family. I do not want my children to resent God because I "abandoned" them. So i have a lot to live for, and will continue to fight
 | |
| This is what I fight for. Not the puppies... the people, don't be ridiculous | ! |
Angela took Calvin to the doctor with an earache this morning, it's the same office that my primary doc resides in. Angela mentioned what was going on with me to her, so she looked up my charts (Spectrum is huge, ain't it?) I wish she would have had something encouraging to say. Instead she was asking Angela if my will was in order! Thank you so much! I choose to believe the oncologist, you know the guy who does this for a living, when he says I have a decent chance of beating this. Not the family physician who was just absorbing this for the first time, I'm not so naive to think that stage IV cancer is not a monumental obstacle to overcome, but I'm not accustomed to losing... I do not plan on losing here either!
Monday, February 17, 2014
The reason for my long delay in posts (other than being lazy)
I was suppose to start chemo on last Thursday... That didn't happen. When I didn't get a call for a time, I started calling to see what was going on. I was told that the doc was still concerned about my CA19-9 level. This is carbohydrate antigen 19-9 according to wikipedia. It is elevated in people with pancreatic cancer. The doc says he couldn't ignore this even though the other tests were going my way. They are running some more tests on the biopsy material already collected... Oh snap! Guess what! Pancreatic cancer is back on the table... The good news is that there a several reasons for a false positive on the particular antigen. Such as:
"CA19-9 can be elevated in many types of gastrointestinal cancer, such as colorectal cancer, esophageal cancer and hepatocellular carcinoma.[1] Apart from cancer, elevated levels may also occur in pancreatitis, cirrhosis,[1] and diseases of the bile ducts.[1][5] It can be elevated in people with obstruction of the bile ducts.[5]"
So, I still l have no idea what is going on.. I didn't start chemo, I still (as of 1/17) have no idea what the results of the further tests are. What I do know is that you have to have the proper chemo for the type of cancer you have, So I need to be patient...
But that sucks...
"CA19-9 can be elevated in many types of gastrointestinal cancer, such as colorectal cancer, esophageal cancer and hepatocellular carcinoma.[1] Apart from cancer, elevated levels may also occur in pancreatitis, cirrhosis,[1] and diseases of the bile ducts.[1][5] It can be elevated in people with obstruction of the bile ducts.[5]"
So, I still l have no idea what is going on.. I didn't start chemo, I still (as of 1/17) have no idea what the results of the further tests are. What I do know is that you have to have the proper chemo for the type of cancer you have, So I need to be patient...
But that sucks...
The yo-yo continues to do it's thing...
Sorry for the delay. I'm almost caught up to the present... IF you know anyone who might want to know what's going on with my predicament, feel free to send them towards this blog. it is public, after all!
After the colonoscopy, we waited to meet with the nurses for consultation. This was the time to find out all the ins and outs of chemotherapy, and find out how to deal with them as best as possible. When we got there, the nurse was very pleasant, but the first thing she said was "Seeing that we have not determined to the origin of the cancer, we will need to discuss two possible solutions." I've always been a quick study so I didn't even need to asked to see that she meant they still thought pancreatic cancer was still on the table. I started to turn into a puddle at the bottom of my shoes right about then.
My wife Angela is much smarter that she, or anyone else, gives her credit. She could see across the table that to the date on the report that the nurse was reading from was three day prior to the colonoscopy results. She pointed it our before I could say anything. The nurse immediately stopped, and asked us to hold on for a moment while she left the room. he was gone for a while. When she came back, she oppoligzed for scaring us, and that "yes, the biopsy results were colon cancer."
I won't bore you with the details, but the short version is that I will probably be tired, I may get a little sick to my stomach, but no throwing up is allowed, I will be very sensitive to cold, and I cant go in the sun without SPF30... I didn't think that sounded too bad, really. I had to decide whether I wanted chemo on Wednesdays or Thursdays. I picked Thursday, and ws told I would start the following week. Once again, we left feeling pretty good!
After the colonoscopy, we waited to meet with the nurses for consultation. This was the time to find out all the ins and outs of chemotherapy, and find out how to deal with them as best as possible. When we got there, the nurse was very pleasant, but the first thing she said was "Seeing that we have not determined to the origin of the cancer, we will need to discuss two possible solutions." I've always been a quick study so I didn't even need to asked to see that she meant they still thought pancreatic cancer was still on the table. I started to turn into a puddle at the bottom of my shoes right about then.
My wife Angela is much smarter that she, or anyone else, gives her credit. She could see across the table that to the date on the report that the nurse was reading from was three day prior to the colonoscopy results. She pointed it our before I could say anything. The nurse immediately stopped, and asked us to hold on for a moment while she left the room. he was gone for a while. When she came back, she oppoligzed for scaring us, and that "yes, the biopsy results were colon cancer."
I won't bore you with the details, but the short version is that I will probably be tired, I may get a little sick to my stomach, but no throwing up is allowed, I will be very sensitive to cold, and I cant go in the sun without SPF30... I didn't think that sounded too bad, really. I had to decide whether I wanted chemo on Wednesdays or Thursdays. I picked Thursday, and ws told I would start the following week. Once again, we left feeling pretty good!
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