Monday's stink...

Everybody jokes about how bad Mondays are.... This Monday takes the cake. 

OK, just to recap, I still didn't officially know what was going on. The "c" word had been said, but no further tests had been run other than that pre-op CT.  All I have been doing is sitting around and waiting so far. All the doctors and nurses up to this point had been saying there would be no decision until Monday. They were waiting for the surgeon to come in Monday morning.

While I waited, someone thought it would be a good idea to get a CT on the rest of my torso (can't argue with that!) to make sure there wouldn't be anymore surprises. That came back clean, so no lung cancer...

I was warned by pretty much every nurse that day to be careful about the surgeon. I was told that I should be careful about asking him questions, because I may not like the answers I received... I should have heeded their advice. Dr Death came in a little after noon. (I still have not eaten since breakfast on Saturday...) He walked into the room introducing himself, and basically just stood there staring at me... I made the mistake of asking him "Well, what do ya think?" He said very flatly. "I think you have stage four colon cancer that had metastasized to your liver, and you probably have two to three years." He never looked away; never changed the expression on his face. Then he very flatly added "Sorry."

I said that I appreciated that he was honest in his opinion (I lied, I didn't appreciate this at all!) Dr Death threw me a life line at this point! He said "Of course, we haven't even got a biopsy yet, so there's no way to be sure." Oh good, maybe it's not so bad! "But I can count the number of times I've been wrong on one hand." YOU JERK! why do throw a life line out just to yank it back??!?

Monday was a very bad day. After the doctor left was the first time I shed a tear. All I could think about was what would happen to the kids and Angela. How could I leave behind three young, YOUNG children? They didn't deserve to lose their dad like this... I came close to losing it... I had been texting with an old friend that happens to be a nurse, and I sent him a message shortly after Dr D left. He gave me some very sound advice that I should ask for something to calm me down. I didn't even know how to ask, but I fumbled though it, and a doctor prescribed a Xanax. That was around 2PM...

Needless to say, I responded well to it! I slept so hard that night, that I had to be shook awake the next morning.